Coax me

I wasn't feeling it today. There was a whole lot of internal debate going on before I even laced up my shoes. A lot of negotiations, making excuses, battling negative thoughts. I was skedded for 8 miles today. Crap.

There was no way I was getting out of bed this morning for that distance before work, not after what I ate yesterday -- a lesson on how not to fuel your body -- but at least I still did the cross-train commuting to work thing. I ain't quick enough to run 8mi during a lunch hour. So that left me with the after-work option.

I got home at 6 and I was, by now, in even less of a mood to go. I had to really coax myself to change into running gear.

You can push the 8mi to tomorrow, I said.
Your calves, despite all that stretching, still feel tight, so maybe you shouldn't go at all, I told myself.
You are too tired.
You should do just 3mi, maybe less.
Maybe you should put your shoes on. That'll help.
You're hungry.

I can be my own worst enemy if I let myself. But at least I got out the door. The thought of barbequed meat that would be waiting for me post-run helped. But all those negative thoughts were starting to overwhelm. I felt out of sync, my legs weren't moving right. Eventually an awkward rhythm started to develop. I was also too obsessed with the Garmin today, looking every few steps and not liking the pace of progress, and wondering if time has actually slowed just for me today.
I found myself on a good downhill stretch and boom ... ran into the Sunday 10K group.

There was some instant recognition and I asked them where they were going, how far? Of course, the answer had to be HILL TRAINING. Argh. But I went with them. Because at this point, I still needed to find the desire to get 5 more miles in. I really needed them today. To kick my butt since I wasn't going to be doing it myself.

Funny enough, my negative thoughts seemed to melt away with this group. I honestly don't think this could've happened with the previous group I sort of belonged to. Or is it maybe I've gained some self-confidence in recent weeks? Well, we did 4x800m hills. I didn't complain once, did not stop for a single moment til it was over, even though chest was heaving. High fives were exchanged, many encouraging words called out.

We made our way back towards HQ, but I split off from the group part way to head home. It was a long road today, literally and figuratively. By the time I got home, I had completed 7.4mi. Close enough.